Product Displacement

Even though my wardrobe would give Tim Gunn the haute horrors, I do like to follow the vagaries of fashion, making note of what’s hip (minimalism), what’s hopeless (anything 80’s) and when the hell will this hideous style go away (Capri pants).

Words are a lot like fashion in that, to paraphrase Gunn’s “Project Runway” sidekick Heidi Klum, “One day they’re in, the next day they’re out.”

I remember when “ubiquitous” was, well, ubiquitous. “Resonate” hit a collective chord and then slowly faded away. “Synergy” was once a stock word with the Wall Street crowd as disparate companies tried to merge their misaligned missions. When AOL-Time Warner turned from a boon to a boondoggle, “synergy” became the Enron of English.

One word that seems in no danger of losing its allure anytime soon is “product.” Once reserved for things like glass cleaner and laundry detergent, “product” has become the little black dress of vocabulary – it’s safe to use on any occasion, but is completely lacking in color and nuance.

I first noticed this trend while watching “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” A forerunner to “Project Runway,” “Queer Eye” turned five gay men loose on one hapless hetero, making over his fashion, food, furniture, face and finesse. What should have been a great opportunity to educate their Trilby on such unfamiliar words as “bespoke,” “wasabi,” “étagère” or “toner,” instead became “product” pandemonium. Maybe they didn’t want to spook the straight guy, but I was a bit dismayed hearing these savvy Svengalis refer to everything from pasta to hair gel to fabric as “product.”

Because of its rote formula (how many times can you watch some poor bastard made uncomfortable by Carson Kressley’s quips), “Queer Eye” quit the air in 2007, but I believe they were the mavens who made “product” fashionable.

Normally, I would consider this fad just mildly distasteful, but when Hollywood studio executives, record label honchos and publishing CEOs start referring to movies, music and literature as “product,” I know we’re in desperate need of some major alteration. It’s bad enough to think of my daily meals as akin to floor wax, but the fine arts are one of the very few things (besides accessories) that set us apart from the other higher primates and should be shown the same reverence as the “Runway” panel does for a perfectly executed ensemble.

To quote the guru Gunn, choose the made-to-measure word for every object and “make it work.”